i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
