Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
