I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
