Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm always down for nudity.
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