dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
