UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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