sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
