thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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