I wanna passion pit in your ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
