So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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