redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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