Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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