that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
