We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i dont even know how to be here
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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