I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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