Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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