Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize