Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize