That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't notice because vodka
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
