Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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