Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
