you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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