I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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