We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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