Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
