the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
