she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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