I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
