What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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