Where is the hickey?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
