Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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