Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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