FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
