dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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