I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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