I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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