Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
