So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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