How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
