What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
a search helicopter?!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
