Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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