Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I could make wine with my vomit
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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