I want to make a zoo with you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
