I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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