Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
