Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I looked at my own cervix.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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