Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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