yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
