shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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