Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
