the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
