I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
