i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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