I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
