You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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