To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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