I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
