Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
