This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
