i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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